Sunday, May 14, 2017

Yo Momma

It's Mother's Day. Two things fairly consistently happen in the Monzingo house on Mother's Day. First, breakfast is prepared by Kermit and the kids. In the early years they would try to have it done before I woke up and bring it to me in bed. That just was not practical. Apart from the sketchy logistics of eating in bed, I almost always wake up first. And I really enjoy my early morning quiet before the rest of the tribe comes alive. The earlier wake up gave me time to have a nice long soak in my marvelous tub.

That brings us to the second thing that happens: handmade gifts. I really like the kid constructions. Lots of love in that. I especially like it if there is a note or card attached. Jacob made a foam flower bouquet in Cub Scouts.  It is adorable.

Another popular item is bath and beauty products. Sarah gave me a small jar of vanilla scented bath salts with sprinkles. SPRINKLES. In my bath stuff. When I opened I wasn't sure if I was supposed to eat it or not. Sarah assured me that it was definitely not edible. She also made a lip scrub (what the heck?). It was cinnamon and spice. I was suppose to put it on my lips for 15 minutes. It didn't last. It was tasty. The girl was a little offended that I hadn't used the sugar scrub she made last year.

Let's talk about sugar scrubs. What is the point of a sugar scrub? Who thought of this? Apart from being easy for the average 9-year-old to put together, why do I want it? They smell good, but they feel awful. My teenage daughter informs me that the scrub is to be used to smooth the rough patches. Well, my rough patches don't like it. It feels like I'm trying to wash with sandpaper.

Anyway, back to the present. I used my bath salts with sprinkles. Sprinkles do not reliably dissolve in water. I was bathing with floating things. Not only do they not really dissolve, the ones that do dissolve leave a bit of a mess.

Yeah. I won't be cleaning or even looking at this until tomorrow. It's Mother's Day dang it. Plus I now smell like a cupcake. Kermit threatened to lick me.

So, adult helpers of children creating fantastic items for their mothers. My advice is to skip the sprinkles.

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