Look Beyond Looks

Day 3 Love One Another Challenge

This morning it was cold. Cold enough to use the fireplace. I empty the ash bucket and then refill it with all that remained of our last fire. Carefully clean out the fireplace. Brave the cold to bring more wood inside. Wad up newspaper. Stack a few logs and start that thing up. Very soon I had a blazing fire. It was beautiful. The only problem is that the wood wasn't what was burning. It was the kindling. It appeared that I had a fantastic fire in my fireplace. What I really had was burning paper. It's what my husband would call drama. We had pyrotechnic drama, but no substance. And no lasting warmth.

On the surface this challenge is about physical appearance. There is so much more to it. We need to look beyond the drama, beyond the presentation. A child may be misbehaving or a person may be rude. What do we usually think about them? Sometimes we think what an awful human being. While that may be true, it is also true that each of us is a child of God. The bad behavior may be as simple as lack of sleep or bad environment at home or some other frustration that has nothing to do with us. My middle son gets very, very cranky when he is hungry. Until I made the connection I would get irritated at his hostile attitude.

A friend posted a video on Facebook. A man is trying to get to work. People keep getting in his way. A neighbor boy on his skateboard gets in his way. A woman steals his parking spot. The very slow person in the line in front of him at the coffee shop. The man is stewing in his frustrations when someone give him magic glasses. He puts the glasses on and can then see all the burdens the people around him have to carry. Parents fighting. Divorce. Death. Financial struggles. Addictions. All these people that were an inconvenience to him were now opportunities to serve.

"Life is perfect for none of us. Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life. Each one is doing their best to deal with the challenges which come their way...may we strive to do our best to help out." Thomas S. Monson

Overlook Someone's Shortcomings

Day #2

The challenge for today has some overlap with yesterday's patience challenge. In order to overlook someone's shortcomings you need to demonstrate some patience with that person. But first a person needs to notice deficiencies in others. If we look for the positive instead, there isn't much room to be worried about the flaws. That isn't to say they are ignored, they just aren't important. To truly love, we accept all aspects of an individual. The good, the bad and the ugly may not all be equally delightful but they are all parts of what makes that loved one unique. Therefore, all bits, even the shortcomings taken together with the whole are valued.

Be Patient With Someone

Love One Another Challenge Day One.

Patience is hard. It is universally seen as a good thing. I used to think I was a patient person. It seems that I am patient in certain areas but the attribute is not completely mine. I am often impatient with my kids. They were very nearly the undoing of me before I had even finished breakfast. The way the challenge is worded it seemed that I should pick one person. I have five kids living at home and two of them are teenagers. We have a dog that is not my favorite. And I don't tolerate well my own shortcomings. I have plenty of choices. Instead of choosing just one I decided to be aware of the times when I felt it necessary to exercise patience.

My youngest daughter wasn't feeling well and stayed home from school this morning. That was the first test of the day. I tend to get testy when my routine is interrupted. Almost before I caught myself I could feel myself getting irritable. I remembered before there where actions or words. I felt impatient and I felt the ridiculousness of my impatience. There wasn't any reason except a minor deviation from my plan. That served as a reminder and a motivator to pay attention. I did. The rest of the day I tried to stay mindful.

When the baby quilt didn't come together as quickly as I planned I did not berate myself. When the unfavored dog was acting particularly unfavorable, I took her for a walk. When the teenager failed to sufficiently plan her work/school balance, I bought her supper. When we were running late and the car in front of us was really, really slow I just breathed and kept moving forward.

Focusing on this attribute has taught me something. I have some ability to remain patient, but not as much as I would like. When I acknowledged that I really don't have it, I felt a tremendous peace. I don't know that I have to be perfectly patient. I want to be, but that will come in time. It is a kindness we owe to those we love and also to ourselves.