Monday, May 23, 2016

Stake Conference

This weekend was our stake conference. Stake conference is always good but one of the special treats this conference was Janice Kapp Perry. She and our stake president have been collaborating on music for a long time. Our ward's Relief Society sang one of their songs during the Saturday night session. Sister Perry gave a fireside Saturday morning. Jacob had a soccer game so I wasn't able to attend. I did get a pretty detailed report from my friend. Among some other remarkable facts, did you know that Janice Kapp Perry did not start writing music until after she was 40? The family TV broke and they couldn't afford to fix it for about a year. Without that distraction all the members of the family started developing their talents.

I've been thinking a lot about what I should do with myself. We've managed to get one kid out of the house and another will soon. Before too long they will all be gone. I have several paths to choose. I'm interested in many things and capable of doing many things. Should I focus on my creative skills? Which ones? Do I start a theatre? Focus on design? Teaching? Do I change directions and start training as a midwife? I wish I could do everything. I really want to do everything. It is hard to pick. Honestly, I am also a little afraid to start. It is irrational. Nothing I've considered is impossible for me to accomplish. And still I can't seem to get past the doubt. The small fear. I'm not even sure why I am afraid.  Maybe it is because I can't see the end. I really do like a well laid out plan. I really do like knowing what is going to happen. Alas, life is not always so kind as to give us answers. As Boyd K. Packer said, "Sometimes we have to step into the dark and then the light will follow."

So. Here I go into the dark.

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