The Value of Time

We are all going to die.  It's just a thing that happens. To everyone. We can't avoid it. Some try, but it is inevitable. That's OK. It is as it should be. Out time on the earth is limited and therefore, is precious. Some might even say our time is the most precious, the most valuable thing we have.

So, why do we waste it? 

I've squandered many an hour on frivolous activities (or non-activities). One of my favorites is video games. Plants vs Zombies. Bloons Tower Defence. Candy Crush. Any word game. I especially like to play them when the TV is on. Two marvelous time wasters sucking up my minutes. In small doses neither of these things is bad. I seem to not be able to judge a small dose. I would sit down for what I told myself was just a moment and the next thing I knew my day was gone. 

Two weeks ago I decided to make a change. I deleted all games off my phone and laptop. The only exception was a couple of games that required more than one participant. Heads Up is still good. Anything I can play by myself is gone.  

This is what I have noticed. It has been surprisingly hard. Every time I sit down I feel the urge to play. It is too hard to just sit without some sort of activity. In the daylight hours when I have sufficient light I will work on one of my many sewing projects. However, it is not usual for me to sit during daylight hours. Too much to do. Evening is hardest. It is difficult to just sit. Sometimes I write. Sometimes I will scroll through Pinterest. Not sure if that is better, but it feels slightly more righteous. Mostly, I've just tried to be in the moment. One activity at a time. If we are watching a movie, then I'm going to watch the movie. We've had a few more game nights. The kids get bored with just watching and want to do something interactive. We play board games or card games. In the future, I plan on dedicating more time to completing family history research. 

I may decide that I can include video games into my life again. First I think I'll see how long I can go without. 

Unto Thyself Be True

A friend posted this on Facebook. It really struck a chord with me.

What does it mean to be yourself? Your true self? Can it be achieved in a lifetime? Is it something we can diagnose ourselves? Or do we need outside forces to help us see accurately?

I once told a friend that I had every intention of growing up to be an eccentric old lady. He replied that I only lacked the growing old part. I've been called weird, odd, shy, quiet, chatty, intelligent, know-it-all, judgemental, kind, among other things. The labels don't bother me, but sometimes they surprise me. I think I'm rather ordinary. It is a revelation to hear otherwise.

I've never cared too much about what other people thought of me. Even in high school when we all are hyper-concerned about peer opinions, I was not too fussed about it. Well, let me amend that. I was not overly worried about what most people thought. I did have a core group of very, very good friends. Their opinions mattered. Their opinions could matter because they accepted and maybe even appreciated my quirks. It is a precious gift to find friends who love you as you are.

I've come to believe that the most accurate, most important view of ourselves comes from Heavenly Father. We can learn to see ourselves as He does. It takes time. Sometimes a lifetime. That's OK. It's OK if you don't quite know yourself yet. You will.